So we opened a record store…….

Not your usual everyday record store. We opened a record store in a small restaurant premises with a commercial kitchen, tables and chairs, no alcohol licence at THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME IN THE WHOLE HISTORY OF RECORD STORE OPENINGS EVER!

Apologies for shouting…..The stress of opening has long since passed, but the memory and pain (like THAT song that takes you back to your first broken heart) well it kind of lingers….

It’s not your usual everyday record store, as we sell records, craft ales, fine wines, delicatessen products (fabulous cheese, English Charcuterie etc) and coffee. We also serve a mighty fine breakfast too…….and dinner on a Saturday night (for those that can get their head around the idea that we don’t serve chips, nor posses a deep fat fryer).

I digress.

I was organised, methodical even. I opened accounts with as many major record labels as I could. I trolled though so many excel spreadsheets searching for the artists and the titles that were going to bring the public to our doors, all of whom would pass compliments on my exemplary taste in music; the eclectic mix of genres held in our tiny store.

Who ever knew that spreadsheets with 15,000+ rows existed? Let alone the brain fog that can ensue when scrolling down line after line after line. Who could appreciate the quickness with which they drop into your inbox too?

Orders collated, ready to place…..dig out the email addresses of the various organisations. Attach the spreadsheets. Press send and ready yourself for the delivery of those beautiful, magical discs of vinyl, surrounded by poetry, artwork, cardboard covers and cellophane……….

It’s a funny old thing to do, dipping your toes in the waters of an industry that you have (almost) zero knowledge of how it actually works…..a steep learning curve you might ask?

The North Face of The Eiger would have been an easier mountain to climb.....when you realise that almost all “Music Labels” products are distributed from only one site.......... by one organisation and that they have closed their operation to relocate to their brand new shiny distribution centre (only 18 miles or so, just up the A41), for two and a half weeks at the exact same time that you’ve decided to open a record store.

“Thanks for your order, we will not be able to submit for picking until Utopia open their new depot in Bicester on Tuesday 29th August” Was the message that came back, several times, from several email accounts… If only I’d picked up on one of the emails from Pete at Sony back in early August, (long before I was ready to place any orders for records)…..my priorities back then were interior design of our little retail/café space. All white walls and the starkest of LED lights does not make for a pleasant environment to sit for any length of time……we settled upon an “avocado green and beige” palette by the way, and several strings of fairy lights…..

The 29th of August arrived, orders were already placed, so nothing to worry about, our opening weekend would see our racks brimming with those precious, coal black circles of wonderment.

Only they didn’t. 

Thirty two was the number received. Thirty bloody two……..